Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday's SUCK
In-class Know-It-Alls
Everybody knows these people, provided that they have taken some schooling, either high school or in college. Mostly I will be referring to college level Know-It-Alls, but this plague of individuals exists in grades 9-12 as well.
In-class Know-It-Alls are notorious for unabashedly raising their hands at the slightest hint of a question. Doesn't matter the question, if they think they have something insightful to say, BOOM, hand up. Normally, I don't have a problem with people contributing in class. My least favorite classes are those that discourage classroom discussion and just feed you information like it is fact. Unfortunately, though one would think that the information being professed IS fact, it most often is not. This epidemic is seen in business classes. It's a typical, here's how you do it, don't ask why, you're just supposed to depreciate the value of a stripper at 10% per year for 7 years, but why?, I said don't ask. Et cetera. Science classes don't really do this. You're allowed to ask why, and are encouraged to do so.
That ended up being really tangential. Anyway, the people I'm talking about really just love to say shit. They just love it. I'm beginning to think that they get off slightly when they hear what they have to say, because they almost ALWAYS think it to be profound. They really, truly think that no one EVER has come up with what they just said; that, or, they think no one else can figure out what they just answered. They also love to verbally answer rhetorical questions, and state personal scenarios or recall things that they have experienced which they somehow associated with the current topic. Usually, it is difficult to ascertain why they made such an association.
Here are a few hypothetical, but realistic, examples of In-class Know-It-All actions:
Professor: Now, we all know roughly when World War I took place, but the circumstances surroun--
K-I-A: *HAND SHOOTS UP* Before World War II.
Professor: ...right, so, the circumstances surrounding the beginning of....
Professor: Companies want to get you to think that their brand is the best; to ignore others and just choose theirs.
K-I-A: *HAND OUT OF NOWHERE* Like, so, I was watching TV the other night and I saw a commercial for Brawny paper towels. And then like, when I was shopping I just grabbed them, you know? Cause the guy's like a lumber...what do you call that? Like a forest person? A lumber...lumber something.
Professor: ...so companies, wait, what?
Professor: *mumbling to herself* ...11 times 3 is...
K-I-A: *no hand this time, but said in a nonchalant, snide, smartass tone* Thirty three.
Professor: Yes, thank you. It is a wonder how I managed to pass high school algebra let alone keep my learning disabilities in check to obtain a Ph.D. Seriously, thanks. I never would have been able to figure that out. I'm very glad you were in class, as it is unlikely ANYONE here would have known how to solve such a complicated and tricky problem. Thank you, sincerely.
I'll never understand these people. Why they think it's not annoying to everyone else when they raise their hand and, via extended monologue, tell the class not only that horses are mammals, but they know because THEY WENT TO A PETTING ZOO ONCE...I will never know.
One favor I can thank these people for is providing countless examples of how to explain some of the most basic concepts and knowledge like they just encountered a stroke of genius, and must describe what they discovered in layman's terms so the rest of us can understand. Another, I suppose, is that they make the rest of us look just a bit smarter. I can think of many times when someone playing mental word association in class decided that there was a connection between their inane thoughts and a lecture, vocalized their connection, but then stated that they were confused about it.
One instance happened yesterday. A girl in my Marketing class raised her hand to tell our professor that some ab workout ball she saw on TV had a totally confusing and falsified graph to describe its effectiveness. The best part was the reaction she described upon seeing the graph. I can only describe it as such: OMG LOL THAT GRAPH SAYS THIS THING IS 408% MORE EFFECTIVE THAN CRUNCHES LOLOLOL HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE YOU CAN'T MEASURE THAT HAHAHHAHA OMFG I'M GONNA BRING THIS UP IN CLASS LOL THAT MEANS LIKE IT'S 408 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE LOL GRAPH LOL ILLOGICAL LOL. Understand? Not like I need to explain this, but it certainly is possible to measure the effectiveness of a workout...or at least the muscle activity involved. No one bothered to explain this to her, so she continued in her diatribe about how their marketing campaign was ludicrous based upon this nonsensical and totally indefensible graph. She laughed during this, as if she were scoffing at the absurdity of some scientific measurements displayed in an easy to read and understandable format. What's more, her friend, or fellow idiot, or something, laughed with her, likely adding to her own perceived credibility.
I think this girl, and people like her, might think that they have been blessed with some type of special knowledge, superior rationality, or both, and must demonstrate it to others. They're kind of like the apostles when they were all gathered in that room, and the Holy Spirit was like sup go tell err'body 'bout Jesus and all the crazy shit he did, oh btw sup check out this FIRE OVER YOUR HEADS isn't that sweet? Alright yeah anyway go do that...wait damnit I forgot something...here's a copy of Rosetta Stone, it can teach you a bunch of languages...wait what? What do you mean what do you do with--oh, shit. Computers. Yeah. Alright whatever you can all speak any language you want. Except...that...these people are...well, look, I have no idea how they compare to the apostles other than that they tell everybody something that they think is cool, and I guess if they wrote it down and somebody read it 2000 years later, that person would have a similar reaction of what the hell is this? regardless of whether it was authored by an apostle or Christine in Marketing. Except the stuff that Christine in Marketing wrote would sound a lot stupider. And way more obvious.
Everybody knows these people, provided that they have taken some schooling, either high school or in college. Mostly I will be referring to college level Know-It-Alls, but this plague of individuals exists in grades 9-12 as well.
In-class Know-It-Alls are notorious for unabashedly raising their hands at the slightest hint of a question. Doesn't matter the question, if they think they have something insightful to say, BOOM, hand up. Normally, I don't have a problem with people contributing in class. My least favorite classes are those that discourage classroom discussion and just feed you information like it is fact. Unfortunately, though one would think that the information being professed IS fact, it most often is not. This epidemic is seen in business classes. It's a typical, here's how you do it, don't ask why, you're just supposed to depreciate the value of a stripper at 10% per year for 7 years, but why?, I said don't ask. Et cetera. Science classes don't really do this. You're allowed to ask why, and are encouraged to do so.
That ended up being really tangential. Anyway, the people I'm talking about really just love to say shit. They just love it. I'm beginning to think that they get off slightly when they hear what they have to say, because they almost ALWAYS think it to be profound. They really, truly think that no one EVER has come up with what they just said; that, or, they think no one else can figure out what they just answered. They also love to verbally answer rhetorical questions, and state personal scenarios or recall things that they have experienced which they somehow associated with the current topic. Usually, it is difficult to ascertain why they made such an association.
Here are a few hypothetical, but realistic, examples of In-class Know-It-All actions:
Professor: Now, we all know roughly when World War I took place, but the circumstances surroun--
K-I-A: *HAND SHOOTS UP* Before World War II.
Professor: ...right, so, the circumstances surrounding the beginning of....
Professor: Companies want to get you to think that their brand is the best; to ignore others and just choose theirs.
K-I-A: *HAND OUT OF NOWHERE* Like, so, I was watching TV the other night and I saw a commercial for Brawny paper towels. And then like, when I was shopping I just grabbed them, you know? Cause the guy's like a lumber...what do you call that? Like a forest person? A lumber...lumber something.
Professor: ...so companies, wait, what?
Professor: *mumbling to herself* ...11 times 3 is...
K-I-A: *no hand this time, but said in a nonchalant, snide, smartass tone* Thirty three.
Professor: Yes, thank you. It is a wonder how I managed to pass high school algebra let alone keep my learning disabilities in check to obtain a Ph.D. Seriously, thanks. I never would have been able to figure that out. I'm very glad you were in class, as it is unlikely ANYONE here would have known how to solve such a complicated and tricky problem. Thank you, sincerely.
I'll never understand these people. Why they think it's not annoying to everyone else when they raise their hand and, via extended monologue, tell the class not only that horses are mammals, but they know because THEY WENT TO A PETTING ZOO ONCE...I will never know.
One favor I can thank these people for is providing countless examples of how to explain some of the most basic concepts and knowledge like they just encountered a stroke of genius, and must describe what they discovered in layman's terms so the rest of us can understand. Another, I suppose, is that they make the rest of us look just a bit smarter. I can think of many times when someone playing mental word association in class decided that there was a connection between their inane thoughts and a lecture, vocalized their connection, but then stated that they were confused about it.
One instance happened yesterday. A girl in my Marketing class raised her hand to tell our professor that some ab workout ball she saw on TV had a totally confusing and falsified graph to describe its effectiveness. The best part was the reaction she described upon seeing the graph. I can only describe it as such: OMG LOL THAT GRAPH SAYS THIS THING IS 408% MORE EFFECTIVE THAN CRUNCHES LOLOLOL HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE YOU CAN'T MEASURE THAT HAHAHHAHA OMFG I'M GONNA BRING THIS UP IN CLASS LOL THAT MEANS LIKE IT'S 408 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE LOL GRAPH LOL ILLOGICAL LOL. Understand? Not like I need to explain this, but it certainly is possible to measure the effectiveness of a workout...or at least the muscle activity involved. No one bothered to explain this to her, so she continued in her diatribe about how their marketing campaign was ludicrous based upon this nonsensical and totally indefensible graph. She laughed during this, as if she were scoffing at the absurdity of some scientific measurements displayed in an easy to read and understandable format. What's more, her friend, or fellow idiot, or something, laughed with her, likely adding to her own perceived credibility.
I think this girl, and people like her, might think that they have been blessed with some type of special knowledge, superior rationality, or both, and must demonstrate it to others. They're kind of like the apostles when they were all gathered in that room, and the Holy Spirit was like sup go tell err'body 'bout Jesus and all the crazy shit he did, oh btw sup check out this FIRE OVER YOUR HEADS isn't that sweet? Alright yeah anyway go do that...wait damnit I forgot something...here's a copy of Rosetta Stone, it can teach you a bunch of languages...wait what? What do you mean what do you do with--oh, shit. Computers. Yeah. Alright whatever you can all speak any language you want. Except...that...these people are...well, look, I have no idea how they compare to the apostles other than that they tell everybody something that they think is cool, and I guess if they wrote it down and somebody read it 2000 years later, that person would have a similar reaction of what the hell is this? regardless of whether it was authored by an apostle or Christine in Marketing. Except the stuff that Christine in Marketing wrote would sound a lot stupider. And way more obvious.
# posted by Joey : 2:04 AM
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