Monday, November 24, 2008
Totally New SUCK (Monday Edition)
People Whose Gender is Unidentifiable
Working at a retail store has bestowed upon me the opportunity to view and interact with countless types of people over the past few years. Generally, I try to refrain from any type of discrimination toward specific categories of individuals, whether they be women, men, the elderly, the young, black people, AZNs, Mexicans, or even white people. This cannot be attributed to my desire to be politically correct or not offensive; rather, it is because people from all backgrounds exhibit shitty qualities. Just because one group of people tend to proliferate their own stereotypes does not mean that their personal downfalls are necessarily a product of the group into which they are placed.
I have, however, found that one group of people specifically cause issues in my working life that are directly related to the "life container" into which they fit. The group to which I am referring are those who cannot be immediately identified as male or female. This condition is often caused by one or more of the following:
I should not have to perform even the most basic of investigations to determine your gender. If I cannot look in your direction and quickly arrive at a gender conclusion, there is a mild tragedy taking place. There should not have to be any considerations weighed, nor circumstances or actions studied in order for me to decide whether the person whom I just looked at is indeed male or female. If I cannot determine this without conducting a study or asking investigative questions, how am I supposed to greet you? I have run into situations in the past where I have made assumptions about someone's gender and been completely wrong, and thus treated disrespectfully by the person whose gender I misinterpreted. If it is up to interpretation as to what gender you are, then I do not consider it my fault for possibly addressing you as "sir" if you happen to have a vagina. Sorry, but I figured if you have a groomable mustache, you were probably a dude.
As I listed previously, there are distinct causes behind people of indistinguishable gender. What I believe to be the most prominent is morbid obesity. Just a hypothetical here: if you were hiking in the Rockies, and saw a mountain inexplicably moving toward you, would you be able to determine its gender? I didn't think so. Same problem here. Unforunately, some people are so large that it is nearly impossible to decide what gender they are without doing a physical. I would assume that most of these people would find it difficult to leave their homes, but apparently this is not the case. If true, this would leave gender issues at the door (or perhaps quite literally stuck in the door), and save society from the anguish involved in determining such a person's sex.
Another reason why I sometimes find it challenging to determine someone's gender is their poor hairstyle choice. This is applicable to both male and female. For instance, it seems that quite often a man purchasing World of Warcraft has hair that resembles that of a homeless Rapunzel: it is draped over his leather trenchcoat almost to his waist, and looks to have been used to mop a floor. The opposite is true for some women, who have CREW CUTS. Clearly the man with long hair is not looking to pick up women, so I suppose no one really needs to know his gender. But the Marine-haired woman? This confuses me. I can only speculate that she is trying to pick up women as well, by looking like a man and luring them into thinking she might indeed have a penis. Beware of this trap, unsuspecting, straight females. It is seductive, dangerous, and real.
Finally, I often fall victim to the third cause I listed above: surprising vocal frequency. I call this the Wizard of Oz Effect, as I feel that there must be some other person inside the deceiver controlling its voice. You know how sometimes on the phone you can't tell whom the other person is? Well, this is like that, except that person is right in front of you, speaking to you, and you still can't figure out whether that person is a man or a woman. Your eyes indcate to you that the thing you see is a woman, but your ears scream WAIT! STOP! DON'T MAKE THAT DECISION! THIS PERSON SOUNDS LIKE JAMES EARL JONESSSSSSSSSSS! Keep in mind that I'm not talking about transgender people who might have once possessed a penis but now have some opening in their nether-regions that resembles a baby chute; I mean people who were truly born as a certain gender and have not been modified. This same situation can be applied to a man with shoulder-length hair who has the voice of Jewel. Seriously, what the fuck...
Anyway, I think I have clearly described people whose gender happens to be a variable in a very complex equation which can only be solved through guess-and-check. This wouldn't be that big of an issue normally, as I can't see myself being that interested in anyone whom I cannot immediately identify as a woman, but in a work setting where I sometimes have to refer to people as "sir" and "ma'am", this causes many problems. It angers me the most that blame is shifted toward me because I made an incorrect assumption. This is disturbingly unfair. Rather, blame should be fully carried by people who cloak their gender from the outside world.
My final plea: unless you reproduce by budding, please indicate in some fashion whether you are male or female. If you cannot do this, you suck.
Working at a retail store has bestowed upon me the opportunity to view and interact with countless types of people over the past few years. Generally, I try to refrain from any type of discrimination toward specific categories of individuals, whether they be women, men, the elderly, the young, black people, AZNs, Mexicans, or even white people. This cannot be attributed to my desire to be politically correct or not offensive; rather, it is because people from all backgrounds exhibit shitty qualities. Just because one group of people tend to proliferate their own stereotypes does not mean that their personal downfalls are necessarily a product of the group into which they are placed.
I have, however, found that one group of people specifically cause issues in my working life that are directly related to the "life container" into which they fit. The group to which I am referring are those who cannot be immediately identified as male or female. This condition is often caused by one or more of the following:
- morbid obesity
- poor hairstyle choice
- surprising vocal frequency
I should not have to perform even the most basic of investigations to determine your gender. If I cannot look in your direction and quickly arrive at a gender conclusion, there is a mild tragedy taking place. There should not have to be any considerations weighed, nor circumstances or actions studied in order for me to decide whether the person whom I just looked at is indeed male or female. If I cannot determine this without conducting a study or asking investigative questions, how am I supposed to greet you? I have run into situations in the past where I have made assumptions about someone's gender and been completely wrong, and thus treated disrespectfully by the person whose gender I misinterpreted. If it is up to interpretation as to what gender you are, then I do not consider it my fault for possibly addressing you as "sir" if you happen to have a vagina. Sorry, but I figured if you have a groomable mustache, you were probably a dude.
As I listed previously, there are distinct causes behind people of indistinguishable gender. What I believe to be the most prominent is morbid obesity. Just a hypothetical here: if you were hiking in the Rockies, and saw a mountain inexplicably moving toward you, would you be able to determine its gender? I didn't think so. Same problem here. Unforunately, some people are so large that it is nearly impossible to decide what gender they are without doing a physical. I would assume that most of these people would find it difficult to leave their homes, but apparently this is not the case. If true, this would leave gender issues at the door (or perhaps quite literally stuck in the door), and save society from the anguish involved in determining such a person's sex.
Another reason why I sometimes find it challenging to determine someone's gender is their poor hairstyle choice. This is applicable to both male and female. For instance, it seems that quite often a man purchasing World of Warcraft has hair that resembles that of a homeless Rapunzel: it is draped over his leather trenchcoat almost to his waist, and looks to have been used to mop a floor. The opposite is true for some women, who have CREW CUTS. Clearly the man with long hair is not looking to pick up women, so I suppose no one really needs to know his gender. But the Marine-haired woman? This confuses me. I can only speculate that she is trying to pick up women as well, by looking like a man and luring them into thinking she might indeed have a penis. Beware of this trap, unsuspecting, straight females. It is seductive, dangerous, and real.
Finally, I often fall victim to the third cause I listed above: surprising vocal frequency. I call this the Wizard of Oz Effect, as I feel that there must be some other person inside the deceiver controlling its voice. You know how sometimes on the phone you can't tell whom the other person is? Well, this is like that, except that person is right in front of you, speaking to you, and you still can't figure out whether that person is a man or a woman. Your eyes indcate to you that the thing you see is a woman, but your ears scream WAIT! STOP! DON'T MAKE THAT DECISION! THIS PERSON SOUNDS LIKE JAMES EARL JONESSSSSSSSSSS! Keep in mind that I'm not talking about transgender people who might have once possessed a penis but now have some opening in their nether-regions that resembles a baby chute; I mean people who were truly born as a certain gender and have not been modified. This same situation can be applied to a man with shoulder-length hair who has the voice of Jewel. Seriously, what the fuck...
Anyway, I think I have clearly described people whose gender happens to be a variable in a very complex equation which can only be solved through guess-and-check. This wouldn't be that big of an issue normally, as I can't see myself being that interested in anyone whom I cannot immediately identify as a woman, but in a work setting where I sometimes have to refer to people as "sir" and "ma'am", this causes many problems. It angers me the most that blame is shifted toward me because I made an incorrect assumption. This is disturbingly unfair. Rather, blame should be fully carried by people who cloak their gender from the outside world.
My final plea: unless you reproduce by budding, please indicate in some fashion whether you are male or female. If you cannot do this, you suck.
# posted by Joey : 5:17 AM
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