Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Tuesday's SUCK
KETCHUP PACKETS
This is one of those small problems in life that everyone ignores just because it's not bad enough to petition for change. However, it is of great concern to me, for one simple reason... it sucks.
Ketchup packets - surely an American invention - defy all American principles. America loves to do things big. We've got the largest military in the world, the biggest canyon in the world, the biggest Declaration of Independence in the world...hell, even the biggest population of Americans are in America!
So why would we continue to use something so small and useless as a ketchup packet? It boggles the mind. When was the last time you used just ONE ketchup packet during a meal? If you answered never, you're an intelligent individual. If you answered anything other than never, you're probably a midget. In that case, continue using your one ketchup packet. I understand.
Ketchup packets need to be at least double their current size. This would allow for their frequent use on hot dogs and burgers, but also cut in half the number of packets needed for things that require large amounts of ketchup, such as french fries. This would also lower the number of ketchup packet droppings, which occur when large amounts of small packets are carried from the condiment are to the table. Packets are very slippery so they often fall from the hands of their greedy captor.
In summary, I'm all for ketchup packets. I have Heinz stock, so I really wish people would just grab handfuls of them and throw them away. However, for an item designed to be convenient, tiny ketchup packets are the polar opposite.
This is one of those small problems in life that everyone ignores just because it's not bad enough to petition for change. However, it is of great concern to me, for one simple reason... it sucks.
Ketchup packets - surely an American invention - defy all American principles. America loves to do things big. We've got the largest military in the world, the biggest canyon in the world, the biggest Declaration of Independence in the world...hell, even the biggest population of Americans are in America!
So why would we continue to use something so small and useless as a ketchup packet? It boggles the mind. When was the last time you used just ONE ketchup packet during a meal? If you answered never, you're an intelligent individual. If you answered anything other than never, you're probably a midget. In that case, continue using your one ketchup packet. I understand.
Ketchup packets need to be at least double their current size. This would allow for their frequent use on hot dogs and burgers, but also cut in half the number of packets needed for things that require large amounts of ketchup, such as french fries. This would also lower the number of ketchup packet droppings, which occur when large amounts of small packets are carried from the condiment are to the table. Packets are very slippery so they often fall from the hands of their greedy captor.
In summary, I'm all for ketchup packets. I have Heinz stock, so I really wish people would just grab handfuls of them and throw them away. However, for an item designed to be convenient, tiny ketchup packets are the polar opposite.
# posted by Joey : 2:23 PM
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